Long distance relationships are not easy, period! However when you add to the equation your fears and insecurities it becomes an extreme challenge to live life the "normal" way. This has been my test for the last three months, trying to do life here in Argentina while Pally tries to live his in UK and in between enjoy our relationship to the fullest.
I miss Pally a lot, but lately I have come to realise that much of my paranoia or anxiety has little to do with "missing" and more to do with unresolved fears and/or insecurities. You see, this waiting room where I found myself today in, shouldn't be an enemy and it certainly shouldn't make me so upset and miserable. Then why do I feel like that?
I have been working this with God, searching the Scriptures for comfort and above all, searching His company to enjoy the ride.
Today, as I was having my "Jesus time" I was reminded once again of the tender and faithful love of Jesus. The story was the famous story of Lazarus in John 11:1-26. It starts with Jesus being told by a messenger that his friend Lazarus of Bethany was sick. His immediate response was "This sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it". Even verse 5 reads "Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus". No doubt about it, things were looking up for Lazarus, he was about to get his healing and glorify God with it. Soon Jesus would come to save the day and everyone would be happy.
But verse 6 comes in: "So, when He heard that he was sick. He stayed two more days in the place where he was". Wait, wait a second!!! We have just all agreed that this sickness was not for death, ...Then what are you doing there Lord???? Why are you delaying everything?
Well this is what the Lord told me today through the scriptures: I know!! I know of your pain, I know what you are going through. I'm aware...and because I love you, I will wait and not come until the right time. That's how much I love you. Trust me.
Confort yourself with this, He knows! He knows of your suffering and He knows the right time to intervine.
Yet, you may ask, what about those voices that are against me? What about those that want to see me fail and keep me in the land of "what-ifs"? In verse 7 after those two days had gone by Jesus said to the disciples "Let us go to Judea again". The disciples tried to dissuade Him. They wanted to convince him that it was dangerous to go up to Judea, but Jesus had already spoken...and when He speaks....New worlds are created!!!
You may keep asking, what if my relationship seems like dead, what if in the natural it seems impossible? What if all my strength is gone? That's exactly what happened to Lazarus. By the time Jesus arrived he had been dead for 4 days. His body was already discomposing. Jesus wasn't late...He needed Lazarus to be in that state. Sometimes we need to reach bottom, be at our worse so we can rise completely by His power, on His strength. Whatever we are trying to build on our own efforts will fade...but if we let him do the work, then it will last. Remember "Jesus is the Resurrection and the Life. He who believes in Him, though he may die, he shall live. And whoever lives and believes in Him shall never die" (John 11:25-26).
So me too, Im on this walk..knowing that certain parts of me need to die, others are already stinking but Jesus knows about it, and He is already on His way to bring my healing, and what a healing would be!!!!
